Emotional Aspects of Child Custody Battles and Divorce

One does not simply understand divorce until it happens. Only once the divorce papers are signed, true drama and commotion begins.

Divorce has a huge impact on one’s psychological and emotional state. It affects all parties involved, both men and women and their children.

Did you ever think about the consequences and how they may ruin your life?

Let us help you understand. The facts say:

• Women initiate divorce 50% more than men do
• 90% of all divorced mothers have custody over their children (even those who didn’t win it at court)
• Out of all people under poverty guidelines, 60% are divorced women and children.
• 65% of all divorced mothers receive no child support
• After a divorce, women tend to experience less stress and have better general adjustment than men
• Men remarry more quickly
• Men are more negative about divorce and will try harder to salvage the marriage

Children suffer the most

Each divorce is different in nature, but has almost the same consequences. Two people decide to move on with their lives, but forget about one important thing: what about their children?

No one asks them what they want. Yet they end up with divorced parents, having no choice where to live or with which parent.

They go through a huge change, one that will impact their psychological and emotional development.

Children’s psychological reaction to their parents’ divorce is based on 3 factors:

• Quality of their relation with each of their parents
• Duration and intensity of the conflict
• Parent’s ability to focus on the needs of children in their divorce.

Based on their age, children will react differently. Younger children who are more attached to their parents will suffer a significant blow, and those old enough may even understand why their parents are doing this.

Divorcing while your children are pre or during puberty will definitely leave an impact on them. They may develop depression, frustration, anger issues, and just get hurt in general.

Statistically speaking, boys are more emotional than girls, and are prone to showing anger and frustration. Some children even experience severe headaches, stomachaches, eating disorders and insomnia.

Either way, if you are going through a divorce, you may want to hire an attorney. Legal representation will help you get a fair divorce, and protect you from losing everything to your spouse.

If you are looking to Divorce in Thousand Oaks, we suggest you speak with one of our attorneys to get proper counsel and guidance. Our attorneys are skilled in representing individuals going through divorce, and may instruct you on how to behave children-wise.

Struggling over child custody?

In the end, both of you may struggle over the custody. This is one of the biggest issues, one that truly creates disastrous consequences. Your children will just there, and watch how both of their parents fight each other, insult each other and hurt each other.

Fighting over Child Custody shouldn’t be like that. If you and your spouse cannot make a deal, each side should hire an attorney and solve it in court.

It is important to think about your children and what they want. Don’t neglect their desires, and talk to them as much as you can. They need you both, now more than ever.

Protect Children’s Best Interests in Legal Matters

If you feel like your marriage was a disaster, and looking for a way out, divorce may seem like an only option. However, it is a very complicated process, one that requires a lot of your time and emotional strength. We understand that you may have a lot of questions, but listed below are some of the most important things you should know when or before you file for a divorce.

Everything you say or do can and will be used against you

For starters, learn to control yourself. Don’t say anything to your spouse that may cause controversy. If you have an emotional moment, please try and restrain yourself. Saying things you don’t mean, threatening and yelling like or breaking things like a lunatic will not help your case. Quite the contrary, your spouse will use that information against you and have a pretty solid case. Control your emotions, act like an adult, and as hard as it may be at the time be respectful towards your spouse. And then perhaps, you will both find a peaceful solution.

Protect your children’s best interests

No matter what is going on, you have to think past the current situation and towards your children’s best interests. They are the product of your love, your legacy, and pretty much the only thing keeping you and your spouse together.

Don’t fight with your spouse while there are children present. You will not gain their affection if you insult their parent, so don’t even think about doing it. It is wrong in many ways, and will put you in a bad spot. Instead, respect your spouse and say only the best about him/her to your children. They will love both of their parents, and need both of their love and attention once the divorce settles. Be there for your child, and be the best version of a parent you can be.

Divorce from a legal perspective

Many divorces will end on hostile ground. This is where attorneys step in. If you are looking to protect your assets and your personal interests, you are going to need all the help you can get. Thousand Oaks Divorce Attorneys are ready to jump in and help you settle your divorce. They will protect your best interests, and guide you through this complicated and exhausting process. Give us a call before you file for divorce so we can be there for you right from the start.

Child support and visitations

Lastly, you should talk to your spouse about child support. It is only fair to let the child spend time with both of the parents equally. Unless you are in very deep hostile waters with your spouse; in that case, you are going to need an attorney to help you fight over your child’s custody.

There are many cases where one parent was given only one day weekly or even monthly to spend with their child. This is absurd. Don’t let this happen to you. Contact us immediately, and schedule your initial free consultation. Our Divorce Attorneys in Thousand Oaks are ready to take over your case and fight to protect your legal rights.

Can Your Former Spouse Use Child Support for Holiday Vacations? (How to Stop It)

But for divorced or separated parents, the holiday season can bring more stress and distress than joy and happiness.

Whether you’re a married or divorced parent, you obviously want the best for your kids… That means the best Christmas gifts, and the best holiday vacation so that your children can enjoy their time on the school break.

But when you split child custody with your former spouse or partner, parenting schedules can get rather hectic. And plenty of legal issues may arise…

Here at the Law Offices of Stephanie L. Mahdavi, Thousand Oaks child custody attorneys notice a surplus of calls from divorced and separated parents looking to settle their claims regarding conflicting holiday vacations planned for the kids.

Is taking your kids for holiday vacations illegal?

If this is your first holiday season after the divorce or separation, you may be wondering, “Can my former spouse or partner take the kids away from me for holiday vacations?”

Technically, they can, our child custody lawyers say. If you haven’t agreed to a viable parenting visitation schedule for the holidays, the other parent may be able to take a holiday vacation with your kids without asking your permission.

However, it doesn’t necessarily mean that such actions would be legal if you have a child custody agreement. In fact, there are legal options to stop your former spouse from using child support for holiday vacations.

First of all, agree on a holiday parenting visitation plan in advance. Any vacation schedule with the kids must be properly documented by an experienced child custody attorney.

A custodial or non-custodial parent can obtain an order that allows them to take a vacation with the children in order to spend time with the kids.

How to avoid legal trouble when planning vacation time with kids

In order to avoid wasting your money (and time) when booking a prepaid vacation trip, hire a Thousand Oaks child custody attorney who’d review your custody document and spell out for you what the terms of your vacation time mean.

If you and the other parent have never agreed to a holiday visitation time, it’s vital to establish a specific number of days for holiday visitation for each parent – and have it all in writing.

In order to spend a holiday vacation with your kids, you’ll have to agree with the other parent on a specific time of uninterrupted vacation time with the child. It’s critical to have the other parent’s signature, as many child custody complaints arise from parents not being on the same page about how vacation days are counted.

Our child custody attorneys also advise separated and divorced parents to agree on what type of communication the kids will have with the other parent while on the holiday vacation.

How to plan a holiday vacation with children

Here are other tips to avoid legal troubles while planning a holiday vacation with the kids:

• Give the other parent plenty of notice of the vacation times;

• Provide the other parent with an itinerary (dates and times, means of transportation, etc.);

• Plan for contact between the other parent and the kids.

Above all, properly documenting your holiday vacation plan with the children and having a viable holiday visitation schedule is critical to avoid legal issues arising in child custody cases.

Consult our skilled child custody lawyers at the Law Offices of Stephanie L. Mahdavi to know your rights as a custodial and non-custodial parent, and find out how to stop the other parent from using child custody for holiday vacations.

Contact our Thousand Oaks offices by calling at 805-409-9132 or complete contact form our to get a free initial consultation.

Can you Refuse a Paternity Test?

Paternity tests are used to determine who is the biological father of a child. Courts generally order a paternity test when there are minor children involved. The results on the test can help the court determine child custody and child support arrangements. The judge will also consider other factors to determine the best interests and welfare of the children. A Westlake Village paternity attorney can help you establish or deny paternity, depending on your circumstances.

Requesting a court-ordered paternity test

Most courts will allow the following individuals to bring a civil lawsuit:

• The expectant mother or biological mother
• The biological father
• A personal representative
• The mother and father making the request together
• A social service agency
• A child old enough to make the claim

The first step is filing a lawsuit. The court will review the case and decide if the paternity test is necessary. After the test is ordered, the father, mother, and child will submit DNA samples.

What if a parent refuses to participate?

When the mother refuses to participate, the court may order that the child is not entitled to receive child support from the alleged parent. But remember that the alleged father can only contest paternity within the designated time. So if the mother refuses a paternity test, it is important that the father requests a test within the established time frame. Also, when a man is on the birth certificate and he believes he is not the father, if he waits too long to test, he may have to continue supporting the child financially.  If the father refuses to take the test, he can be held in contempt of court, face criminal charges and fines. In most cases, the judge orders the  alleged father to pay child support.

Preparing a paternity statement

If both parents are present for the birth, the father can be named on the birth certificate or he can sign a voluntary declaration of paternity. If this can’t happen, you can prepare an informal paternity statement.  If the father refuses to sign a paternity statement, he is still expected to pay child support. His obligations may continue unless he disputes his alleged parental rights or if the child is adopted. For more information on establishing paternity, ask a family law attorney in Westlake Village.

When the mother and father were previously married

If the couple was married, the husband is considered the father as long as they were together when the child was born or divorced during pregnancy, that is 300 days after the divorce took place.  If you are a parent questioning the paternity of a child, you should contact a Westlake Village paternity attorney and ask about your legal options.

So it is legal to refuse a paternity test but the father may have to face the legal repercussions. It is best the alleged father takes the test and the child’s biological father is identified.